JOSIAH’S SECRET

A PLAY

By Josiah Allen’s Wife

Copyright
By MARIETTA HOLLEY
1910

HUNGERFORD-HOLBROOK CO. WATERTOWN, N. Y.

(Samantha’s kitchen, Samantha standing by a big churn looking verytired. Josiah sitting by the table reading a newspaper with great interest).

Samantha. I’ve been churnin’ on this cream for two full hours,ever since I finished white-washin’ the back kitchen, and ironin’ andmoppin’ and bakin’; I’m all beat out and I wish you’d help me a little.

Josiah. (Not lookin’ up from his paper). I would love to Samantha,nothin’ pleases me more than to churn two or three pails fullof cream. Men had always ruther do that than to eat.

Samantha. Take holt then and let me rest a minute. I did a bigday’s work before I begun to churn, and I’m tired out.

Josiah. (Still reading). I would in a minute, Samantha, but if Itake this tub of butter to Jonesville I’ve got to grease the democrat,it don’t run good. (Lookin’ up from his paper). I want you to hearthis Samantha. Here is eloquence and good horse sense, I feel that Ilove the man that wrote it—love him like a brother. You know I alwayscontended that wimmen wuz too weak and helpless to vote, even ifthey knew enough, which they don’t.

(Samantha stretches up her weary form and leans on the churn dasherand says). Yes, I know you always argyed that way, but what isthe piece, Josiah?

Josiah. Oh, he is answerin’ a Woman’s Sufferage argument. Hesez the idee of a great strong man allowin’ a weak and delicate womanto vote or endure any other hardship is perfectly obnoxious and repugnantto any man that has the sperit of a man. The very idee oflettin’ them angels strain themselves liftin’ at the political pole is morethan a tender-hearted man can endure. And he goes on to say, If Iwere a woman I would do nothin’ important, I would emulate the roseand its wisdom, I would allure and charm and be silent. Man wuz madeto protect woman, to work for her, and vote for her. Woman wuzmade to smile on man and charm him in his hours of ease. Do youhear that, Samantha? That masterly, convincin’ logick?

(Samantha has resumed her churning again and says). Yes, Ihear it, Josiah. But I want a pail of cold water; you know I have todraw it up by hand since the pump broke, and git a ten quart pail ofwater on the end of the pole, I don’t believe the political pole woulddraw much harder.

Josiah. Yes it would, Samantha; I guess you’d find it drawedharder, wimmen little know the awful tuckerin’ work it is to vote.

Samantha. Well, I’d like a pail of water, Josiah, and I wish you’dcome and help me churn a little; seems as if my back will break off.

Josiah. I told you, Samantha, I’d got to grease that democrat!But what do you think of this beautiful article?

Samantha. The man goes too fur, Josiah, he hain’t megumenough, wimmen hain’t angels.

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